“failure” of Eastern values in western culture

22 04 2014

It is not a mystery that Asian/Indian men in the west struggle the most in modern dating, and I do not think it is a coincidence that Asian/Indian men are also over-represented in high education particularly in the STEM fields.

It seems obvious to me, that those Asian/Indian men who did not struggle in the west, are typically adopted or completely westernized (twinkie/banana). Those who came from traditional families typically have to go AGAINST what their parents tell them to find sexual success. The more the son obeyed the traditionalist parents, the less successful with women they are(unless they are physically attractive enough to stand out)

the asian logic of study hard in STEM field, get a good job, make money, then women will be naturally attracted to you does not work in the west as due to feminism, women no longer depend on men for economic reliance, as they can depend on the state to provide while they fuck bad boys. Men are no longer valued on there providing abilities.

The typical obedient Asian kid would be spending time studying Chemistry, physics, and calculus, preparing for their SATs and AP exams while his peers are getting high with friends, trying out for the track team, deciding who to ask for a date to the school dance, or who to hook up with after school.

According to Dr. Brian G Gilmartin, Skills with the opposite sex takes a life time to accumulate. if you did not accumulate the skills early in life it is less likely for you to obtain skill later.

are Asian parents wrong to bring their values here? Are the twinkies/bananas right to rebel?





a disturbing question: does personality actually matter?

22 02 2013

I just have to ask this disturbing question here. Often times in the media and common knowledge we often discuss “do looks matter”, knowing full well is does. Why, then, not many people ask the opposite question, “Does personality actually matter”? According to a frequent commenter on this blog, Franklin, stated that BOTH looks and personality matters in the realm of modern dating. However, the successful men in the dating game are the narcissistic, Machiavellian, and aggressive bad boys.

However, on the love-shy forums, NewHope stated that he personally  know upstanding respectable guys who does very well with women, because they are good looking as well.

In my previous post, NewHope stated that people who scores high on physical attractiveness has great power, and power corrupts. Which is why attractive people tend to be “jerks”. As many women complain,”nice guys are ugly, hot guys are jerks, hot nice guys are gay” is very true indeed.

So what exactly is the cause and effect here? Is being an asshole make you attractive to women OR hot guys can AFFORD to be asshole because they are good looking (bad boy behavior is the result of being physically attractive)

That bring me to the disturbing question on the blog:”does your personality matter in the end?”





weight loss update, personal update, second chance, more rants

7 12 2012

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dec Photo

this is me as of 12/07/20012

my weight is now 196 lb, I have experienced drastic improvement in cardio, and I have physically more powerful than before as shown in my pad work and bag work. my waist size have drastically decreased as now I can fit well into medium size shirts and fleece pants. I did not measure myself but before (4 years ago) I would struggle to fit even in large size clothing.

Bad news now is that the start up company I am working for has laid me off due to finance issues. I am out of work, but in the upcoming spring I have been accepted to graduate school in my alma mater(my undergraduate school) and I will be continuing my graduate studies next year. Unfortunately, the school is all the way across the country and I have to move again. Even though graduate school will be very busy and brutal, I will not stop working out and I have taken up running daily.

When I graduated college, I originally planned to go for a PhD degree right away, hoping to find someone in graduate school. But due to my weakness, lack of experience, lack of finances, and some unrequited lust I left graduate school for the industry, using the money I earned to frequent high class legal brothels. This is my second chance to maybe achieve both.

I am surprise, though, at how a lot of people seemed to be against the idea of changing myself. Look at the discussion which I posted on reddit about this blog. I only hope TheSpooneh takes my advice and hit the gym. He claims to have caucasian women chasing after him, and yet she is in a situation where she cannot see him often. If he really read my posts and took NewHope’s advice, he should realized that if a woman is really into you, she will NOT miss her chances with you. She would rearrange her schedule just to see him. If she is not attracted to him physically, then she must be using him for money or “hidden advantages”, nothing more. I suspect the woman is actually banging someone else behind as back and wise up. As for shakeDown, lets just say the best attitude, will NEVER be as sexy as 6-pack abs. All the little things you have you watch out for what you lack in physical attractiveness, is simply NOT worth it.

Similarly, a while ago I had a conversation with a Christian pastor who is also opposed to the idea of changing myself. “Don’t will so hard to become an extrovert as it is not the way God made you”. Ooookay, so explain to me, how is going back to being a shy, reclusive, chubby, introvert going to help me?

Can you believe the type of counter productive advice they give? They  claim that I was wrong to work out so hard because its not about looks. So what? I should continue being fat? I tried to believe its your confidence and attitude that would give me the success. I really did, because I know looks is something I don’t have. But I did in fact observed the real world, I realized the clear reason why the pretty girl is holding the fit and handsome guy’s hand, and not mine. I probably had the ability to provide for her better than the guy she’s with, but I did NOT have the looks to attract.

God did not make me an extrovert so I should continue being reclusive. Willing to make changes in my life is apparently wrong and want me to continue being as I was. BEING THE WAY I WAS, IS THE REASON WHY I AM INCEL! They want me to sit and wait and wait for a miracle, but I am wise enough to realize I have to take action.





the global rise of the bitch and cad culture, decent men are fucked unless you got the looks, from the incel’s point of view

22 11 2012

After reading a thoughtful and somewhat controversial blog post by Indomitable Thoughts and the usual brilliant reply by fschmidt, it stirred up a lot of memories. I agree with what they say about the contemporary hook up culture and nightlife, certain ideas by fschmidt did not work in my case.

Years ago when I was still going to college, before I decide to will myself to become social and get in shape, I was the reclusive introvert who spent most of my time in my dorm, studying, chatting with people online, playing video games, and my favorite activity: jacking off to fantasies. I deliberately avoided the superficial party and club scene because I felt the same way as Indomitable Thoughts on contemporary culture. Then again, because of this, I left a 60% female school  without a kiss after 5 years of being there. If I wasn’t Asian and I was better looking, maybe things might play out differently.

A few weeks for my graduation, this realization has hit me hard. I knew finding someone who would be into short chubby Asian guys like myself would not be likely. I asked my family to set me up with girls they knew. They set me up with two of them, who came to this country as students from the old country(my home city actually). It turns out the first girl said she’s not looking for anyone since she already dating someone (A Caucasian male of course), immediately I was friendzoned and she would sometimes chat and call me up to help her with her computer problems. The second girl was a real piece of work. Again we chatted online and talked on the phone a bit. When the school year started and she came to this country, I asked her if she want to meet up. I called her up once for a chat she was way too eager to excuse herself and hang up. She was obviously not into me.

Similarly, I met another Asian girl on Match.com (I was actually surprised I scored a date), and my experiences with her was the same. She even told me she felt stressful around me(a common sign for lack of physical attraction)

Think about it, my fellow nerds, why would a girl be too busy for a hot guy? If a girl is into you, she will climb mountains and cross oceans to get to you. If she is not into you, she will not care if you die in front of her. Like NewHope once said, most men never had women that attracted to them, so they wouldn’t know. All three girls I spoke of, are from a non-feminist country with conservative religious backgrounds, as all three go to Christian churches. Two of the three rejected me probably due to looks. None of them are the nightclub type, all of them new to the country, from a vastly different culture, and they rejected me just the same. I was not reject because I lack the ability to provide as I have a stable job. Its the dreaded L word that haunted me. I used to buy into the popular wisdom that its your attitude and personality that matters. I sincerely wanted to believe that because I knew looks is something I don’t have.

I knew now I have to make the effort to change, being a chubby reclusive introvert will NOT get me out of this. The nightlife/club culture is more global than most of your think. Today at me age of 27 most “decent women” have already settled down. Thus for me to actually find someone, it means I have to pick the left overs, the “slut” that’s been with a few men already, or a younger widow/divorcee. If the “bitch” tells me to fuck off, I will be incel again.

Becoming a Cad is the only option left for me. I am putting NewHope’s advice to the test. See how I do when I get a better fashion sense and NOT obese





Being Asian in America, later generation Asian Americans, the dating scene and the media

19 11 2012

It is only a matter of time before I write something like this I figure now is as good of a time as any. It always amazes me to no end the level of aggression Asians and Asian Americans have on each other in ethnic rivalry and hatred, but all falls into a deafening silence when it comes to social injustice here in the west. Most Asians believe racism against Asians is okay as long as its not directed at their ethnicity, and would probably join in. “Who are you calling a chink, I am Japanese”

It is no doubt that here in America the Asian Male is demonized, ridiculed, and unsexed. The typical Asian you see in America are usually Asian women paired with Caucasian men. the WM/AF interracial marriage is the most common on the planet. The typical Hollywood movie would always have the formula of White man goes to Asian -> white man defeats the Asian male villain -> white man gets the Asian girl. Presence of Asian males in the media is limited, usually portrayed as either effeminate or gay. Bruce Lee could not become successful in America until he returned to Hong Kong. When an Asian male is depicted as sexual, there is usually an outcry. In the film “Romeo Must Die”, a scene where Jet Li kisses Aaliyah was cut out to avoid such reaction. The iconic Asian male in American media is that of William Hung and Ken Jeong.

I read from statistics that Asian American population growth is mainly result of immigration, not sustained natively. That fact disturbed me, but didn’t particularly surprise me. Today almost 50% of Asian women in America are married (not counting dating and hooking up) to Caucasian men (not counting those that dates black and latin men). This indirectly states that more than 50% of Asian men in America are perpetually single (lets be honest about the possibility of Asian men dating outside of their race). The earlier laws of America did not intend for Asians to prosper in this country, from the mistreatment of Chinese railroad workers, Japanese American internment camps, and the Chinese Exclusion act in 1882, which outlawed the Chinese workers marrying Caucasian women (under the threat of stripping the woman of citizenship) and Chinese women were not allowed in the country unless they are prostitutes. Many of these Chinese workers married black and Native american women instead (back then Native Americans are not citizens). I have also noticed the dwindling number of Japanese Americans by the generation as well.

In the 70, 80s  and 90s, many Chinese communities in the east coast cities face a lot of harassment and persecution. The older generation invited martial arts masters from the old country to come here to protect the community, and teach the younger generation how to fight and defend themselves. The Asian Americans of older generation have persevered through hardship, but the downfall of the Asian community lies with the sell out women. If you google black or latin women, you will receive respectable sites like jobs and activism. Google asian women you will get sites like porn, or pseudo pick up artist forums where guys saying how easy asian women are, they will fuck anyone white. disturbingly, they are not that far from the truth.
Women do the choosing on the scene, and for unknown reasons most Asian women here in this country (both FOBs and American born) prefer Caucasian men (had she preferred asian men she would have stayed in Asia). Many claim that is because most Asian cultures are misogynist and chauvinistic, then why aren’t women from Muslim countries flooding to arms of whitey? I heard in Japan the women pack the buses to G.I. bars, offering sex for free. The stereotype says women are less desiring of sex, which is bs because, according to NewHope, “you would be surprised how sexually aggressive women are if she is really into you, but most men did not experience that because they are not in the 10% attractive population”.  I would guess the Caucasoid features of the blond hair and blue eyes is considered exotic, thus the Caucasian man would make a good trophy boyfriend.

I experienced this personally, at a party/event in a piano bar in Denver once. The people are mostly Caucasian, I tried to strike up a casual conversation with the only other Asian girl there, despite her being chatty to white guys at the event, her attitude to me is completely opposite. Just one word answers and always trying to excuse herself when I was trying to talk to her. It is quite obvious that we had the same ethnic background, and being the only two Asian people in the party, she had no intention of interacting with me. A few months later, I saw the same girl again among the spectators in a martial arts tournament I competed in. Lo and behold she is with a Caucasian guy, but I was the one who walked home with the medal and trophy (I won men’s sparring division)

In order for the Asian American population to sustain itself, we must break the barriers of ethnic, cultural, and religious differences. I would advocate the intermarriage and mixing of inter-asian cultures in order to create a stronger Pan Asian community, and a new AMERICAN identity. At the same time we must discourage, ostracize and punish the whore that sell out (even though it is so normal now)





the nerds are looking, but not seeing, halo effect, asshole vs. nice guy

14 11 2012

In traditional conservative societies, a girl’s suitors is often hand picked by her parents or a professional match maker, instead of herself. The rules are simple, because most women by nature, have instinctive sexual attraction to men who are narcissistic, psychopathic, and aggressive. In layman’s terms, the bad boy love. This is not a myth but a fact backed up by science. This is precisely why so many women today leave one abusive relationship after another, yet they would not give the everyday nice guy a second glance, because they nice guys don’t have the masculine aggression the bad boys have. If most men in history were like the nice guys, the human race would not be here today. Death row inmates get love letters and nude photos from women they don’t even know, the nerds in the school of engineering and hackers club do not. Ted Bundy was a very good looking death row inmate, which is why he is flooded with women visitors who want to marry him.

Nice guys and stable providers has a fighting chance, through the game of LOOKS. In my opinion, the handsome nice guy beats the ugly asshole any day. Most nerds are LOOKING but they are NOT seeing. Just because you see an asshole who can get girlfriends one after another, does not mean you can get girlfriends by becoming an asshole. Just because this guy is a player, doesn’t mean he can help you become one.

those guys you see are GOOD LOOKING, thus they can afford to be an asshole and still have wave and wave of women chasing after them. A good looking guy can just to up and say hi and chat the girls up, then let her do the talking because he is good looking thus the girl WANT to talk to him.

There is also the phenomenon called “the halo effect”, where if you are good looking anything you do would be see as positive, and if you’re ugly, anything you do would be negative. Its the same principle that the hotter the girl is, the more tolerant people will be of her bitchy behavior.

initial encounter with a woman she will decide whether or not she will reject you very quickly. It is not a matter of whether or not she believes you are “a good person”, its a matter of whether she thinks “you’re sexy” or have qualities to be the FATHER OF HER CHILDREN. Badboys, know how to convey the latter part very well.

It amazes me how much some women put up for good looking bad boys, he beats her and cheats on her with her roommate, cousin, sister, mother, and best friend yet she still stay with him because it shows he is indeed desirable by others, and still have the ability to walk away. Having the ability to walk away from her is crucial, as women initiate majority of divorces, as she will feel you today, but might not feel you tomorrow. Your options must be open.





Testing NewHope

6 11 2012

I am an involuntary celibate. On the internet some might also call us TFL(True forced loneliness), or forever alone. In layman’s terms, I am a loser who cannot get laid. At the age of 27, the same age my father had me, I have never kissed a girl. I lost my v-card to a professional in a brothel in Nevada at the age of 25. I post on a web forum full of dateless men like myself, in the sex crazed culture of the west.

Each one of us on the forum has a different story as to how did we became the way we are. As for myself, I have always been a shy and reclusive individual who lacked social graces. Conventional wisdom tells us that women are the less shallow of the sex, to get a girl you just need the confidence and the right personality for a girl fall in love with you. Unfortunately, a lot of times conventional wisdom is often 180 degrees out of sync with reality.

As I tried to conquer my shyness, participate in various social activities, getting out of my reclusive shell and meet people, all these attempts made no different. 2 years gone by, I am still incel (abbreviation for involuntary celibacy) and made no difference at all. I simply turned from a reclusive incel to a more social incel.

One day on the forum, another poster wrote his own story, which is similar to mine:

“I don’t understand why people tell me I should keep trying to find a
woman because I’m young (age 22) and it will happen. Oh really? I
didn’t know that people were psychic. I discovered the concepts of
love-shy and incel in 2005, when I first started college. Up to that
point I was super shy and drew no interest from any woman. Then I made
a point to try and change this, going out to clubs/bars, socializing
more, trying every combination I thought would help me break the
cycle. No matter what I have done, NOTHING HAS CHANGED! I’ve literally
tried everything, I reexamined the way I associate with women and
learned to read their signals of attraction, gotten advice from women
(big mistake) and men as to what I’m doing wrong, and the guys don’t
see what it is about me, and I know they’ve genuinely tried to help.
I’ve asked out women, I can’t even get a first date. I’ve never been
kissed or held a girls hand and I’m lucky if I can get a pity hug.
I’ve even stopped doing anything, in hopes that they would be
attracted to me by seeing my indifference, and I truly let myself not
bother with it at all, and that didn’t do anything either. Five years
of effort and nothing to show for it, so for those who say not to just
give up, why on earth should men in my position listen to you? It’s
only going to get harder as I get older and am around less women and
the stigma builds up even more. I don’t care what women say, most
don’t want 30 year old virgins, end of story. I want to teach so I’m
not going to be rich, so that option for attraction is out too. I also
refuse to pay for sex, too much money and hassle and I’d feel like a
complete loser if I did it (no offense to anyone here who pays for it,
that’s just my personal feeling). Plus, if all of a sudden women show
interest in me, years of failure have made me become love shy and I
wouldn’t even be able to advance the relationship, and any
relationship I were to have would suck and end quickly and I’d be
right back where I started.

Therefore,

Incel + love shy = hopeless

There seems to be this belief that you can quit at a certain point,
say at age 35 or whatever arbitrary point someone picks. Some may
believe you should never give up. Where are people coming up with
this? Why are they not examining the individual’s situation before
making statements like that? I must admit though, I am a natural
introvert who doesn’t want kids so I can actually be single and not
suffer, and I’ve been described as nice person by everyone who knows
me (major turnoff most of the time). Basically what I’m saying is that
if someone here is in my position or is likely going to be in my
position, just know that I understand where you’re coming from and
that you’re not alone. Accepting our fate is probably the best thing
for us. It is mathematically impossible for every consenting person on
earth to have sex. Some of us are just regular people who won’t
experience it and we should just deal with it, no matter what our age
is.

You may ask then, why the hell am I even here? Well its been
comforting to know that I’m not the only one in this situation, and I
like the discussions (the board seems to have more high intelligent
people than most other boards, with some exceptions of course) and as
long as I’m welcome here I feel that I can contribute.”

the reply to that post came very surprising. It was made by a former incel, by the handle of NewHope who was successful in conquering his problem. He wrote:

“I think at this point you should seriously wonder if your looks might be a factor. I haven’t seen a picture of you, but by reading what you wrote, I’m assuming it is. This was my EXACT SAME STORY prior to looking back and realizing that I’ve done everything but fix my looks. Get a complete aesthetic overhaul, dude. Hit the gym hard, change your
diet and don’t stop until you have the body of a male model. Belive me, your luck WILL change!

Dating is almost ALL about looks, dude. When I was 22, I had never been kissed or held hands with a girl, either. I had ONE girlfriend when I was 25, and she wasn’t even that into me. She wouldn’t fuck me, but she sure was fucking guys better looking than I was…and then I found out about it and dumped her lol. After waking the fuck up and realizing that my problem was my looks, I lifted weights and dieted like my life depended on it, and it did, because I planned to kill myself if THIS didn’t work. Well, after a year of very hard work and very, very strict dedication, I went from being InCel and not attractive enough to even be worthy of being considered a human being by women, to fucking the hottest ones every
weekend. I only changed ONE god damn fucking thing, man. ONE THING made the difference between a total incel to being able to go out clubbing and fuck one new woman on Friday and another on Saturday, then booty calls during the week, no exaggeration (hell fucking yeah
I’m making up for what’s been denied to me for 30 goddamn years…call me a “man slut” if you want, but it’s a step up from before.) Women are NOT deep creatures AT ALL. Don’t believe the bullshit women tell you about why you’re not wanted…they just don’t want to admit they’re shallow as all fuck, not even to themselves.

In dating, the good looking guys get the girls and those that aren’t are left to suffer alone or spend their lives spitefully used by blood sucking, lying prostitutes-by-design who pretend to love you for your “inner beauty”. Love is an exclusive club for beautiful people only. No one else is worthy of it. An ugly couple is just mutual settling. Love is only for the beautiful in today’s shitty world.
Fortunately, beauty is made, not given. The male models you see in magazines are NOT born that way at all!! That’s the dirty little secret about that industry. Get in the gym and lift your way to a love life. Buff up and rip up (goal should be 190 lbs and 5 % bodyfat). Being a guy that women ACTUALLY WANT is neither about attitude or how much money you make, it’s how you look and nothing elses, no matter how much they swear up and down otherwise (it’s self-deluded
bullshit…women lie even to themseves).

Sorry to ramble on like this lol…I was in your exact same situation and the ONLY thing that helped was bodybuilding…not education, not therapy, not advice from friends, not getting a better social life (made friends with girls, but never girlfriends) or anything else I ever tried. Overhauling my looks was the ONLY thing in those 30 shitty
years that ever worked. the key to getting women is bodybuilding, plastic surgery and a good fashion sense.”

What he wrote struck a cord. It is the one thing that I am afraid of that is NOT the usual politically correct nonsense. The idea that maybe my involuntary celibacy has to do with my looks is way to inconvenient and even painful for me to accept. NewHope’s post might even come across as misogynist, but a lot of times, when the truth is spoken, personal feelings WILL get hurt.

Look at the photo of myself below

This is my graduation photo. I went to a 60% female college for 5 years, and left it a kissless virgin. I was never athletic, big apetite for greasy food and a sweet tooth left me very chubby with 32% body fat. I realized, looks are my problem.

The purpose of this blog, is that I will follow NewHope’s advice, on weight loss. I will update it monthly as I might will try the same, putting his theory to the test.

I am currently training in a MMA and Muay Thai gym that emphasize on intense cardio. I will work out 6 days a week and follow a strict diet of intermittent fasting. I will eat meals that involve fruits, veggies, nuts, beans, fish, and lean meats.

Because of my race as Asian in America, I might not break out of involuntary celibacy, but I will at least achieve weight loss








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