The Asian masculinity Subreddit

21 02 2014

http://www.reddit.com/r/asianmasculinity

recently I have discovered a subreddit thats focused on the discussion of issues of masculinity and men issues amongst asian americans, where it is described as “the only subreddit that focus on issues of Asian men, by Asian men, thats not moderated by feminist sell-out Asian women fucking white men.” While I am glad more Asian men are waking up to the red-pill reality, and I am also glad to see that the last bastion of Asian masculinity did not die with Chingis Khan and Bruce Lee, I am still disturbed by certain issues.

Typical stories from the subreddit, akin to the Model Minority forum , focus on the anger towards the disproportional ratio of sell out Asian women going after white men, how hollywood racist media unsex the Asian male, then came the talks on “gaming women” that differs very little from the discussions of PUAs. Typical story follows this type of structure:

I am raised by traditional Asian parents to be a wimpy, scrawny, math nerd with aspergers that plays violin, then through years of incel through high school and college I was shy and did not have the courage to talk to girls, then I woke up to reality and started to lift weights, after gaining muscles I learned to game women, etc.

They have missed the core of the single problem that plagues the Asian community in the west: When Asian values collide with western culture, there will only be incel men and sell out women in our community.

As I have posted before, it is NOT a coincidence that Asians take up Ivy League schools even with affirmative action working against them, where we excel in the topic of math, science, and engineering, we are also the group that struggles the most on the dating scene. What can you expect of a group of scrawny math nerds taught by their parents to be the model minority and the provider, living in a culture of casual sex and hook ups which clearly favors the muscular jockey, and the thugs with 6 pack abs?

Some of their criticism of Asian culture is very valid(emphasis on academic pursuits instead of  physical fitness, lacking of masculine quality in young asian men because they are raised mostly by their mothers, etc.) perhaps those guys need to stop and think:

why is it that mathematicians, engineers, and scientists need to learn “game” to be successful with women, while the thug that murdered people by the gun, knife, and bare hands then dealt drugs, don’t have to do any of that BS to get harems of women? Perhaps western society is sick and deprived?

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17 responses

25 02 2014
P Ray

From shitty advuce, this is what Nicholaus has to say:
“Your mom is a typical clueless parent, one who should not have had children.

If your mom had a clue, she wouldn’t have had any children if she didn’t know what to teach her children so they wouldn’t have to live mediocre lives. However, in order to be able to teach you those things, she would already have to not be living a mediocre life herself.

You can always tell when a parent is someone who should not have had children, if they harp on their kids about studying. When parents harp on their kids about studying, what is really going on, is that deep down they are embarrassed because they don’t know what things to teach their children so that their children can have awesome lives.

By harping on the kids to study, this relieves the pressure from the parent from having to teach their children things, and transfers that pressure to the child (even though the things that the parent should be teaching their children can’t be learned by studying).

It’s the perfect way for parents to make themselves look blameless when their children grow up to live mediocre lives, because they can just point to school grades and say that their children didn’t study hard enough or work hard enough in school.

Unfortunately, the majority of parents take this passive role in their children’s lives. They have the kids, feed and clothe them, but then take no responsibility for teaching their children how to succeed in life, because they don’t know how to succeed themselves, so they ignore that responsibility by completely turning it over to someone else to do (schools and colleges).

TL;DR – If your parents live mediocre lives, they have no business telling their children what to do, let alone having children in the first place.”

Parents in Asia also teach their children not to stand up for themselves (opposing authority is bad), speak up against injustice (opposing authority is bad), or develop interests to be self-sufficient (opposing authority is bad).
Not to mention the fact that “face” that doesn’t translate into squat in terms of an obvious, tangible advantage that you can take to the bank, is over-emphasised and so is certain “fakery” (Asia is unfairly graduating many people … just so universities can make money, and lecturers don’t get asked while they fail many (deserve-to-fail) students).
Someone I know at a major university in Australia, was recently asked to “pass students that had failed” … who came from Asia, and had massively plagiarised. Majority of those to be passed: Asian females.

20 01 2016
Shawn

Or maybe parents love their kids and want to provide them with something better. As immigrants, they face major struggles, and may I ask you for what?

For the most part they do it for their children; they understand that they are bound to live a mediocre life but they do it anyway, hoping that their children would be better off.

They understand that the world is evolving and there is no way they can catch up with the influx of knowledge. This is why they sent their kids to school. But if you think that they don’t instill discipline in their children then you probably weren’t raised by immigrant parents. (It’s also important to note the variability among different Asian ethnicity)

If you are truly interested, I suggest you visit universities such as UC Berkeley, and ask Asians there in regard to their parents’ parental style. I guarantee you, you will hear more positives than negatives.

It is important to understand that older people generally have more experience than younger people. Of course, it is not true in all cases, but if you think that you know more about life as someone in their forties when you are in your teens, you are out of your mind.

Quoting an anonymous guy from the internet and using it as a pillar to your argument seems cowardly. How do you know if this guy is qualified to answer such a complex question?

21 01 2016
survivingincel

of course the red pill is hard to swallow. bottomline is, the traditional asian upbringing that is influenced by 5000 years of Daoist spiritualism, Confucian courtesy, and Buddhist Ethics places Asian MEN at a drastic DISADVANTAGE in modern dating, which favors narcissism, stupidity, and immorality. Which is why our men are INCEL, and our women SELLOUT

26 02 2014
mohamad( vegeta2)

I feel the same way. I am an arab american I know the cultural stress and misery you are refferring to. Our women dont sell out. Its even worse. ever heard of the 20-80 rule? In my community( I live in a mainly arab-american community, in michigan) It’s a 5-95 rule. 5% of the guys get 95% of the women. the men are hypocrites wanting to sleep with all the women whilst they would only marry a virgin. The women are covered up in head scarves, like there back in the old country. you know for “modesty”. they are generally whores, but are mostly go for the top tier males(5% of the guys) there must be a ton of incels among the guys here but they have too much pride to admit it!
I dont fit in my own community. I too americanized, speak little arabic, cant read or write it and am a staunch atheist.
bottom line, I see where you’re coming from

26 02 2014
survivingincel

biology is biology no amount of ethics, discipline and religion can overwrite it.

27 02 2014
P Ray

“the men (who get the attention of women) are hypocrites wanting to sleep with all the women whilst they would only marry a virgin.” FTFY.
Let’s face it, the women AGREE to sleep with those men, and all the other guys who weren’t chosen ARE DEFYING GOD by not WIFING UP THE SLUTS.

The worst kind of traditionalism puts all the blame for a woman’s sexual choice – on the guys she DIDN’T choose.
In other words, regular guys are to blame for why she chose Studly McBigDick.

27 02 2014
The Cockroach

Interesting comments mohamad,

Reminds me of the end of this video on dating in Iran (yes, I know they’re not Arabs)..

It’s the same everywhere.

27 02 2014
The Cockroach

Skip to 03:45

3 03 2014
angelwanderer

That’s right. It doesn’t matter where you’re from, a man needs to suck this shit up. No chick wants to hear the problem. Parents can’t help. Women say we’re easy and sooo predictable and yet they stuff it up all the time. I know the incel problem well and wrote a book about it -A (http://www.mfp.com.au/angelwanderer/seethings)

3 04 2014
Lauren

Maybe it’s different in the states, but I grew up in Vancouver (I’m a white female) with LOADS of Asian classmates and coworkers. I have to agree that mainstream media insists on portraying Asian men only as nerds, gamblers, or fools, which would definitely affect how ppl who didn’t know guys with a wide range of personalities in real life. But since so much of the population is Asian here, I grew up with exposure to all kinds so maybe the media portrayal didn’t affect me as much.
My boyfriend is Asian, so we’re a mixed couple. I would say that Asian/Asian couples are the most common, followed by Asian girl/white guy, followed by Asian guy/white girl. It seems pretty common here.. But when we were in china ppl would NOT stop staring at us. And coming up to ask if I was really his girlfriend. Whereas in Canada nobody thinks its weird at all.

None of my friends want to date some violent, jerky asshole..maybe some low class bar stars do, or girls who are members of the ever growing “low self esteem club.” Don’t lump all girls together the way media lumps all Asian dudes together. It’s naive to think there isn’t a wide range of female ppl and personalities. I love my boyfriend because we share a lot of values, and he’s very family oriented and logical (He has a math degree). He’s very confident and plays a lot of sports/is very social but also super respectful and kind. I liked that before we were dating, he never slept around or hooked up with girls he didn’t want to date. He waited until they had been dating for a while before sleeping together. Every one of my friends loves that about him too.

You don’t need to give up your values or how you treat ppl to get a girl. But you have to like yourself to be in a relationship. Relationships don’t fix things about you.. They amply them.

Again, not downplaying that the media is really shitty to Asian men, but you don’t have to adopt some macho asshole stereotype to get girls either. You can be your own person.. Just make sure it’s a person that you like.

3 04 2014
survivingincel

Media stereotypes are based on real life truths. There is a very obvious reason why Asians are the model minority and Asian men also have the lowest sexual market value, they are not coincidences.

Being myself is the reason why I am incel in the first place. I have to make conscious efforts to improve myself, because being happy with the way you are is just an excuse to stop the hard work of improving.

16 10 2014
Ds

Why don’t you chill out, after all what of a white guy dedicated a whole website and portion to his time deriding white women for dating black men or Mexican men… It’d be racist and that’s exactly what this is. The fact is Americans in General have a very neurotic and anxious society always obsessing over stupid things like this. Live and let live, and by the way I’ve been to asia, if you want to talk about male dominance, sexism and racism simply pick any citie in any country on the asian continent and you will find it. I remember in Vietnam the saying goes “if your born a women it’s bc you did something wrong in your past life”

17 10 2014
survivingincel

this is a blog about involuntary celibacy. Being Asian in america is a part of it. and I am not exactly wrong in saying asian women sell out. Reality is not politically correct

18 10 2014
Jon

i’ve seen some of the most verbally aggressive attacks on reddit come from people who frequently post to /r/asianmasculinity. they are often active on the /r/theredpill subreddit. what’s more /r/asianmasculinity bans comments and votes by non-members. it’s a clique-y subreddit where all people want is validation for their feelings of anger and rejection. (personal aside: i hear where they’re coming from: i’m gay and asian, and that affords me jack shit in the dating world in the US, unless i want to be treated as a much older man’s exotic boy toy—which i don’t.) it’s understandable to feel these ways when the US media puts asian men into such a pigeonhole. i guess some people’s reaction is to bulk up and act hyper-macho, but that persona’s often prevents a person from making real-life friends.

unfortunately, in the process of validating its member’s feelings, /r/asianmasculinity has also managed to validate racism (toward many other races and ethnicities), verbally aggressive backlashing (pretty much trolling on other subreddits), and just outright sexism (holding women to a double standard that they wouldn’t hold themselves to). these redditors don’t love or respect other people; they are just concerned about their own feelings about what they think they’re “owed” in life (i.e. access to women). they “see” in other asian men an image of themselves and aren’t willing to see past the “asian male”. in their minds, they will only ever feel like victims, not willing to acknowledge even the slightest bit of privilege they possess (they have the extra time to waste commenting about their “sad” lives online, don’t they?). perennial defensiveness and complete lack of sympathy for fellow asian women: that’s some real “asian masculinity” there…

18 10 2014
survivingincel

well, can you also argue that Asian males are NOT victims of racism and the American media? Most Asian women have support, particularly from the asian women feminists who hate the “Asian Patriarchy”, talk of Asian identity and social justice, yet every single one of them fucks exclusively white men.

If society and the media is fully just to Asian men, that subreddit, as well as Model Minority forum, would not exist. The topic they speak of is inherently politically incorrect and most people are too polite in real life to discuss these things

7 01 2017
Levron

Asian gangstas get harems of women too. Don’t blame western society.

11 01 2017
survivingincel

gangstas, and that doesnt bother you? During the 1700 Benjamin Franklin was a ladies man. Do you think a man like him would be a ladies man today? What does that say about our culture?

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