A question concerning modern dating is asked.

15 02 2014

I am wondering what you guys think:

Why is it that a lot of women who put up with physical and emotional abuse from bad boys have no trouble telling nice guy off for the slightest transgression?

Response from a woman:

With the ‘bad boy’ she is operating within a dysfunctional family dynamic — generally such a woman will have learned patterns of abusive relationships within her upbringing.  This would most likely be how she has observed her father treating her mother and girls within the family.  She will feel comfortable with this sort of behaviour, as bad as it might be.  It is what she knows and her ordinary systems of coping (numbing out or compartmentalising are examples) will click into place whenever it happens.

As crazy as it might seem, a ‘nice’ guy treating this woman well with cause her to feel distressed and panicky.  She does not have any emotional mechanisms for handling him.  She might be thinking: ‘If I trust him, will he hurt me when I let down my guard?  I better not let him see my vulnerability; I’ll attack him before he hurts me.” 

Being able to trust someone when your life experience tells you that this is dangerous is daunting.  A man dating this sort of woman needs to be patient and tolerate (to a point) her bad behaviour.  By not reacting to it she will eventually realise that he is not like the problem man in her upbringing.  She will start to let down her guard — well, hopefully she will.  It depends on the degree of her insecurity.  Undoing abusive situations is complex and can take years.

Be compassionate towards her.  She is reacting to a bad history, not the nice guy.  The reason why she can lash out in the west is because women’s rights are much stronger than in the developing world.  She feels safer to act out towards a man.

In a more conservative society women will suppress expressions of anger because it is too dangerous to do otherwise (bad things, all the way to murder, happen in retailiation to a woman’s anger in places like India). If a man in the West did such a thing he will be censored and legal action taken.

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9 responses

15 02 2014
The Cockroach

I can agree with the idea of bad childhood situations playing a role. However, her solution is telling.

Nowhere in that response did I see anything about the woman staying out of relationships until she could get her problem addressed (if possible) with a psychologist or psychotherapist. The nice guy is just supposed to deal with it. Incredible.

I wonder if the shoe was on the other foot. Would we hear calls for ‘patience’ and ‘compassion”? And the bit about women’s rights being stronger in the west: IF she is physically abusing her boyfriend (acting out?) and feels safe in doing so what does that say about the status of men?

16 02 2014
angelwanderer

If a woman feels equal to you she’ll speak to you as though you’re a woman and tell you everything including ‘no’ and ‘go away.’ A nice guy is a woman-alternate and is therefore not masculine enough to tickle her ovaries and wake her inner beast’s wish to find a protector for her future offspring.
Forget what comes out of their mouths. They say they want a nice guy but they really need a strong man, a genetically powerful individual to blend his DNA with hers. Anything less produces a weaker child.
Trust nature. It has more logic and truth in it than what anything women tell us. A

17 02 2014
dilettante

The vagina tingles bad boys my brother, the vagina tingles; Hard-wired through evolutionary biology.

Have you discovered the manosphere & taken the red-pill? Take heart brother, there is hope for incels.

Btw, i’m going to europe this year. Gonna try to get me a german or polish girl. 🙂

17 02 2014
Franklin

Ha ha ha, that’s what I think. What rationalizing BS. Guys, don’t be suckers and believe this nonsense and marry some used up feminist slut. When she gets too old to chase bad-boys, she may tolerate you for long enough to marry. Then she’ll get bored and screw you over for life in divorce court. Instead, choose a woman from a non-feminist country where you can actually find sane women.

17 02 2014
survivingincel

like you always say, women’s actions are not logical, but predictable

4 04 2014
Rembrandt

Bravo! Couldn’t agree more. Us nice guys have been marginalized, stigmatized and made pariahs in the dating world because we decided to get a degree, have a decent job, be financialy independent and not waste our lives partying and on drugs. For our efforts, we’ve been ignored and mocked by women in the as nerds or undatable “nice guys”.

Well, if that’s the case, I’ll take my stock elsewhere where it’s better appreciated, and I’m glad say it was the best choice I’ve ever made. Good bye over-over-entitled and spoilt western women!

19 02 2014
P Ray

Women are BS-ing men when they make these kinds of statements.
The reality is, she doesn’t value the nice guy enough to treat him decently.
Any other type of thinking is just rationalising the behaviour.

In other words,
“At least you (nice guy) get me last”
means
“You get to pay compensation for my previous bad choices AND pay my STD bills / conditions later”
(e.g. it’s well known that cervical cancer surfaces in a cockhopper’s later years … guess who foots the bill for it?)

4 03 2014
Thir d WorldHero

Most of the most Asian men I’ve met i’ve met while travelling. I think you should check abroad as an option.

12 06 2014
Lon Spector

You only get a return of your own level. People of varying
levels have nothing authentic to give one another.
A person lacking maturity and self control can only appeal to
the same. “Birds of feather, flock together.”

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