Much has happened over the course of the summer, living now in a new place. Just less than a year ago I struggled to run just 1 mile, now I ran 3 5ks and a half marathon over last few months. When I eased into the cardio I felt like I can run forever, leaving behind the troubles of the world and life. I had to put a new hole in my belt as my waist size went down. Similarly, my luck has changed slightly in the realm of online dating, as I am getting replies now from girls, and scored a few dates which almost never happened before. Improvement in my chances with women has a direct relationship with my change in looks, anyone that says anything else is in denial.
Recently I came back in contact with an old acquaintance from college, who is an ethnic(Bengali). Needless to say, he struggles in the realm of dating himself. His problem, however, lies with his shyness. As he says to me,”I have had one night stands before, but its always the women who approached me, not when I am being forward.” Little does he know that in the realm of modern dating, it is always the women that chooses, not men. The very fact he obtain one night stands, I realized that his problem is far easier to solve than my own, as I can’t get one night stands.
Multiple times we had our conversation drift to the pick up artist culture, and he tried to convince me in joining local PUA groups. I don’t believe in PUA for most PUAs will deny the obvious truth: looks matter. However; after some careful thinking I had to admit that PUA might actually work for him, since he can pass the look test due to his one night stands, where I can’t. He simply needs to overcome his shyness, a step I already done.
My friend here reminded me of myself few years ago as I actually looked into PUA for guidance, but I saw the flaw in it right away. As stated before, PUAs perpetuates that common knowledge tells us that MEN are the shallower of the sexes, women are not as visual. However; common knowledge is almost always 180 degrees out of phase with reality. We receive 90% of all our information through our eyes, thus we, as a species, are EVOLVED to be visual. Though women SAY physically attractiveness matter less to them, their ACTIONS are no more different than that of men. In fact, women are far more intuitive and have social smarts. THEY KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO DO, YOU DUMB ASS! Its either she feels that way about you or she doesn’t. PUAs tries to break this interaction into an objective formula, telling you that you just need to say this, then say that, and TRICK the girl into liking you/going to bed with you by some magic words, is complete ludicrous