Love-shyness, is a term coined by psychologist Dr. Brian G Gilmartin as a type of severe, chronic shyness affecting mostly heterosexual men where they cannot initiate or move forward when it comes to obtaining romantic relationship with the opposite sex. This is also called the male lesbian syndrome, or being the passive male, where the man simply desires to take the woman’s/passive role in a relationship. Such example of a love shyness is the school boy who doesn’t have the courage to ask the girl to the school dance, or even say hi to the girl he really likes.
Dr. Gilmartin’s works are one of the first and source I stumbled upon when I realized after leaving college that I am an incel and researched this condition.
Indeed, love-shyness can cause involuntary celibacy, but not all incels are love shy. Some incels can be quite bold and hit on every attractive girl he sees, but due to his lack of physical attractiveness he will always be rejected. The Loveshy Forum is a gathering place for many love-shy and incels alike. Once a homosexual forum member once wrote, “I see a lot of anti feminist attitude here on this forum, feminism encourages women to take the aggressive role in relationships and in life. Shouldn’t feminism have POSITIVE effects for love-shy men finding a romantic partner?”
What he said is absolutely right, if and only if the man is GOOD LOOKING enough for women to aggressively pursue him. If you are a short, chubby, Asian love shy like myself, that would NOT work, and as I stated on my first post, shyness is NOT my problem. Indeed, those on the forum who found success, are good looking loveshys, not pure incels.
According to my traditional Asian upbringing, I was often told that when I obtain a higher degree in education and make a lot of money in a high paying stable job I would naturally attract women (those who are tired of banging hot bad boys and ready to settle with a provider to care for her bad boy spawns from different fathers). Indeed, due to radical feminism and sex revolution, where women are no longer economically rely on men, the tables are turned differently. I refuse to throw the hotdog down the Grand Canyon. Little do my parents know in today’s game-and-hook-up culture, to be successful with women is neither about attitude or how much money you make, its about how you look and nothing else. Physical attractiveness in males of the species is essential to survival, shown in nature as roosters with his comb and wattles, peacock and his colorful tail, lion and his mane. Yet we turn around to say looks don’t matter as women are not as visual, who are you trying to cheat and lie to?
It pains me very much that I see so many Asian kids in school buys into the BS the media and their parents tells them. They actually believe that just because you study like machines and get some As, you will have a good job and find a good wife, which is completely false. Diaboli once said, “It’s amazing to me that Asians’ autistic drive for educational degrees and money surpasses their most inherent desires”. I blame it completely on their upbringing.
According to Dr. Brian G Gilmartin, kids who has successful relationships have better emotional state, less stress, and improved performance in both academically and professionally. Most Asian parents would fight this to the death, but the truth is the truth no matter what your feelings are. My message to my fellow Asians and Asian Americans: If there is one thing I fully regret to this day, is that I took what my step mother told me to do very seriously, where I ignored girls and avoided relationships and studied in hard in school then got bad grades. If you are young enough to be in school, start dieting NOW, get into sports NOW, get into shape NOW, get a better sense of fashion via new clothes to fit your body after you get into shape. Don’t be shy, TALK to girls in your school, observe how they act. DON’T put them on the pedestal. As a girl you like out for tea or coffee and don’t be afraid to be rejected. Talking to girls, getting and keeping relationships, and social skills takes a LIFETIME of training and experience. GET THEM NOW before you are my age.