the global rise of the bitch and cad culture, decent men are fucked unless you got the looks, from the incel’s point of view

22 11 2012

After reading a thoughtful and somewhat controversial blog post by Indomitable Thoughts and the usual brilliant reply by fschmidt, it stirred up a lot of memories. I agree with what they say about the contemporary hook up culture and nightlife, certain ideas by fschmidt did not work in my case.

Years ago when I was still going to college, before I decide to will myself to become social and get in shape, I was the reclusive introvert who spent most of my time in my dorm, studying, chatting with people online, playing video games, and my favorite activity: jacking off to fantasies. I deliberately avoided the superficial party and club scene because I felt the same way as Indomitable Thoughts on contemporary culture. Then again, because of this, I left a 60% female school  without a kiss after 5 years of being there. If I wasn’t Asian and I was better looking, maybe things might play out differently.

A few weeks for my graduation, this realization has hit me hard. I knew finding someone who would be into short chubby Asian guys like myself would not be likely. I asked my family to set me up with girls they knew. They set me up with two of them, who came to this country as students from the old country(my home city actually). It turns out the first girl said she’s not looking for anyone since she already dating someone (A Caucasian male of course), immediately I was friendzoned and she would sometimes chat and call me up to help her with her computer problems. The second girl was a real piece of work. Again we chatted online and talked on the phone a bit. When the school year started and she came to this country, I asked her if she want to meet up. I called her up once for a chat she was way too eager to excuse herself and hang up. She was obviously not into me.

Similarly, I met another Asian girl on Match.com (I was actually surprised I scored a date), and my experiences with her was the same. She even told me she felt stressful around me(a common sign for lack of physical attraction)

Think about it, my fellow nerds, why would a girl be too busy for a hot guy? If a girl is into you, she will climb mountains and cross oceans to get to you. If she is not into you, she will not care if you die in front of her. Like NewHope once said, most men never had women that attracted to them, so they wouldn’t know. All three girls I spoke of, are from a non-feminist country with conservative religious backgrounds, as all three go to Christian churches. Two of the three rejected me probably due to looks. None of them are the nightclub type, all of them new to the country, from a vastly different culture, and they rejected me just the same. I was not reject because I lack the ability to provide as I have a stable job. Its the dreaded L word that haunted me. I used to buy into the popular wisdom that its your attitude and personality that matters. I sincerely wanted to believe that because I knew looks is something I don’t have.

I knew now I have to make the effort to change, being a chubby reclusive introvert will NOT get me out of this. The nightlife/club culture is more global than most of your think. Today at me age of 27 most “decent women” have already settled down. Thus for me to actually find someone, it means I have to pick the left overs, the “slut” that’s been with a few men already, or a younger widow/divorcee. If the “bitch” tells me to fuck off, I will be incel again.

Becoming a Cad is the only option left for me. I am putting NewHope’s advice to the test. See how I do when I get a better fashion sense and NOT obese

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10 responses

23 11 2012
governmentsgetgirlfriends

Decent men are fucked. Looks are almost irrelevant.

25 11 2012
Franklin

There are 2 separate issues here that shouldn’t be confused. One is looks versus personality, and the other is American women versus foreign women.

Both looks and personality matter. Anyone who fixates on one and ignores the other is just wrong. But the difference is that looks is fairly universal while personality varies by culture. In other words, getting in shape will help you in any culture. But a personality that is attractive in one culture may not be attractive in another culture. So the first step is clearly to get in shape to look good. This is useful everywhere.

Based on my experience, I don’t believe that getting in shape is enough to attract American women. I believe you must also be a jerk. You can test this yourself. When you are in shape, act like a decent man to American women and watch what happens. I bet anything this will only result in rejection. So then you will have a choice, become a jerk or seek foreign women. Of course which foreign women you go after matters. I am not an expert on China but I recently heard bad reports about Chinese women. If you decide not to become a jerk, you will have to do some research into women from different countries to find good ones.

25 11 2012
survivingincel

Hey Frank, thanks for the comment again. I do agree with a lot of what you are saying. But at this age, even with foreign women, there is a reason why they are still single(bitch alert). Bitch and Cad exists in every culture, just a question of more or less. As for fresh off the boat single Asian women…they did NOT come across an ocean to meet Asian guys

Also, have you ever heard of the common complaint from women: “nice guys are ugly, hot guys are jerks, hot nice guys are gay”

however, I’ll keep your words in mind

10 12 2012
mi

I am dating a short chubby Asian guy.

10 12 2012
survivingincel

okay, what about it?

11 12 2012
mi

That there are women who will like you for you and look is only a small aspect choosing a significant other.

11 12 2012
survivingincel

there are many lonely, desperate men in this country would say otherwise.

physical attraction is important in a relationship, anyone who says otherwise is kidding themselves

14 12 2012
P Ray

@mi
Are you enjoying dating the short chubby Asian guy … because nobody else is interested in you?
Or are you a single mother? Or with mental illnesses? Or financially struggling? Or too old to give birth? Or have a massive student loan? Or jobless?
Nevermind, if you throw tantrums against him with regularity, already means that you see him as a man not worthy of respect.
In other words … he is there to compensate you for your previous bad relationship choices.

11 06 2013
Ruxman

Physical attraction is yours if you go for it, you know that, your results are awesome and Im sure you’re feeling more like a man, more in tune with what you want in life and that’s attractive. If you haven’t read the book models, by mark manson then I’d recommend it, it’s all about how to make peace with your issues to do with sex/relationships and women. cool blog.

5 03 2016
P Ray

Don’t mention to the woman that you know she doesn’t find you attractive: the results could be fatal:
http://i.stuff.co.nz/world/europe/77583496/Granny-killer-bashed-husband-to-death-with-stone-frog-friend-says
But it was only after the man’s remains were found in vacuum-packed plastic wrap in the garden of their home in South Wales that Chalkley took the conversation seriously.

Chalkley said: “It was a couple of years since we’d spoken, so I said ‘I wondered what had happened to you both. I would have thought by now that one of you would have killed the other.’

“She replied, ‘It’s funny you should say that. I’ve killed him. I’ve battered him with a stone frog which was at the side of the bed. He was just driving me mad. Every night he would get into bed crying and weeping, saying you don’t fancy me.”

The killing was said to be the culmination of a turbulent 37-year marriage, a string of fraud allegations, abandoning their five children, and a menage-a-trois with another criminal.

The couple moved to New Zealand in the 1960s and had five children. They later abandoned their children when they returned to the UK, fleeing fraud allegations.

To the public eye however they appeared to be a perfect couple.

“They looked a lovely couple, the epitome of respectable,” Chalkley said.

When she was in her 50s, Sabine began an affair with a violent criminal half her age. She and the man, known only as Steve, moved into a flat together.

Her husband then also moved into the one-bedroom flat.

“It was a very odd set up,” Chalkley said.

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