“…The girls that play games with guys they are truely attracted to are a VERY RARE MINORITY!! The idea that girls are “mysterious” about their interest is a myth perpetuated by marriage-minded women and PUA gurus – both of whom just want your money.
Before my makeover,
– women never approached me.
– I felt constantly under threat of being “nexted” for the slightest transgression if I was “lucky” enough to get a date,
– Every one of THOSE girls gave me that “I like to wait 6 months before doing anything intimate” bullshit.
After the makeover
– I get approached all the time. No more games or doubt as to their interest. Their behavior makes it blatantly obvious.
– No more feeling like I’m walking on eggshells. Not dumped for stupid, trivial shit anymore.
– I always got pussy by the 3rd date and THEY were the ones initiating it. These women came from all different walks of life and the vast majority were so-called “good girls”.
Women intentionally perpetuate those stereotypical myths because they want to be able to marry for security when they’re looks start to fade. It works like this: The common myths attempt to explain away their apparent lack of sexual interest toward the guy they’re trying to sucker into marriage. The vast, vast majority of guys that are not of the top ~20% in physical attractiveness have never seen real attraction, which is why they actually believe the bullshit. There is a damn good reason why the most attractive men are seen as poor marriage prospects!! It’s because they KNOW what REAL attraction looks like and won’t fall for any stereotypical crap.”
After reading the quote above by NewHope, it struck a serious cord that the typical mind games women play with men who they are not physically attracted to is exactly like the dynamic of my father and step-mother. I lost my birth mother at a young age to breast cancer, so their original marriage is blur to me. I was raised by my paternal grandmother and aunts and uncles in our home country. Like many stereotypical Asian families we are very stable because of the close tied with the extended inlaws (in contrary to the sexual relationship between 2 individuals here in the west).
My father came to America on a student VISA. He married my step mother here and using that as springboard to get a green card, he also intended to bring me here. Little do I know that the family environment changed for me from being in a very stable family to a very dysfunctional and volatile family here in America.
Because of my father’s foreign national status he does not have the opportunity for employment as he needs sponsorship to get a job in the field of engineering. thus he wanted to obtain green card from a marriage to my step mother. During this period, my father worked on printing press for a scientific/medical journal for minimum wage. At this time he spends most of his time at work, but he also made less money than my step mother, for which she deeply resents him for.
My step mother is the typical serious and high strung radical feminist type, in addition to being resentful of my father, she is especially resentful of me, as she had to spend time raising me, something she wants my father to reward her for, she told me, “its not us (her, her mother, and her daughter) that your father gets up in the morning and make money for, its you”
Thus as you can tell, she is at home more time than my father, but her attitude towards me depends on her relationship with my father, which was very volatile. This is precisely the reason why I am more concerned about the status of their relationship than they are.
It is quite clear to me now that my step mom is not attracted to my father physically, because she would nit-pick little things my father’s does, many unintentional, as major transgressions. For example, because I didn’t have that much clothes, one day my father went out and bought be some in a garage sale. My step mother would get angry at him and say, “you buy you son clothes, but all the years we married you didn’t buy my daughter clothes!” then her attitude towards me would become very hostile, and she would shun my father by refusing to sleep in their bedroom but sleep in my step sister’s room instead (denying him sex essentially.). She would almost always initiate the fight between them, they would not speak for weeks, my father would always be the one who initiated the reconciliation often result in bigger fight with yells and screams.
It is clear to me my father wanted their relationship to work more than my step mother did, I begged and pleaded with my father to get divorce but he wanted to make the marriage work, possibly for obtaining the green card for himself and for me, he put up with the marriage. Maybe he knew that he would not find anyone else due to his own anti-social nature. “I do things for your son and you do nothing for my daughter” is the common theme they fought about. Over the time I grew paranoid about my fathers behavior, whatever he does for me I tried to make sure he does the same for my step sister. I thought to myself, if having a relationship is this paranoia of watching out for little transgressions to continuously please your female partner, I want nothing to do with it.
The dysfunctional family I came to America to was one of the main reasons why I avoided relationships in the future. But I was not naive as I realize my own value on the sexual market as the short chubby asian kid, avoiding relationships was easy for me.
The story of my father and step mother did not stop there. When they finally separated, my step mother started to experience financial trouble as she continued to stay in the same house they bought when they were together. She was then more willing to reconcile with my father. Not after my father obtained his greencard for himself and me. Since then, he landed much higher paying engineering jobs. Afterwards the relationship between my father and step mother began to become a lot more stable, she doesn’t start fights with my father over little transgression anymore. As now my father make more money than my step mother, she now has a reason to make their relationship work, as she can now depend on my father for my step sister to go to college.
Moral of the story is, if a girl truly wants you, she will try to make it work. If she is attracted to you physically she would not manipulate you with sex. If she is not attracted to you physically, the other reason why she would want a relationship with you is economic dependence. But in today’s society most women do not rely on men, emphasis on looks is more crucial than ever. All the qualities and the paranoid watch of your little transgressions to make up for what you lack in looks is simply not worth it. If she is not attracted to you physically, and not dependent on you economically, your relationship will become volatile. For a relationship to work, it is not a question of whether or not she believes you are a “nice person” or “interesting”. Save the “unconditional love for you as an individual” for the romance novels and Asian TV dramas.